Atypical Multiple Sclerosis

Sometimes life throws you bittersweet moments. I was privy to one these the other day. Returning home from walking my dog, I told my son I was almost able to maintain the “pirate pace” during my walk. The pirate pace is briskly walking for over 30 minutes OR walking our chocolate lab at a pace and length of time enough to thoroughly tire him out.

My son hugged me, told me how proud he was of me. Wait for it-that was not the moment. Here it is. He then said, “Mom, if I get MS I know I’ll be alright. I mean look at you. With everything the past three years has thrown at you and you are as happy as ever and continue to do new (learn to knit, begin writing) things.”

The sweet part is that I am truly humbled by his words. As a parent it is deeply satisfying and humbling to know that I have actually provided a positive model in such a turbulent time. Many adults do not feel as though they are or would be alright during trying times. 

By now, you can guess the bitter part-“Mom if I get MS”.  Yes, yes I know that MS is not hereditary and that genetics play only a small if any role in MS. I am keenly aware of the percentages as well. However, part of the Atypical MS diagnosis for me is my family. Myself, my two sisters, one of three brothers and a niece all have been diagnosed with MS. One sister is ‘classically’ RRMS as her doc puts it. That leaves myself, one sister, one brother and one niece that are Atypical.

So, when my son said “If I get MS” he really means it. He has watched different members of my family become affected by MS for the past five years. At first it was his aunts, then his mom, then an uncle. When his cousin, who is only a few years older than he, was diagnosed with MS,  it became a possibility for him, too. 

Until he uttered those words-If I get MS-I was hoping he didn’t connect the dots. But as a bright teenager he did. He always loved the connect the dots and most other puzzles as well. Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t waiting vigil for the arrival of symptoms. In our mind it is a big IF and down the road in the distant future. We don’t fret about what ifs. We live our life as if we are free of all disease. We know what can happen for both he and I;  that makes each moment all the more precious to savour.